Phew!

Twenty-five pages later, and I'm finally finished. Let me tell you what, trying to graduate and preparing for a wedding in the same semester has been pretty crazy. But we're almost there! In six days I will be graduated and married! (I'm mostly excited about the married part--the graduated part is an added bonus.)

So the last few days I've been staying up way too late (turns out I am a more effective writer at 1:00 am) trying to finish this paper for my applied string literature course, which is essentially an independent readings course, whatever that means. Actually, what it means is that you pick a project to work on, with the help of an adviser, and then you work on it . . . most likely at the last minute. I've been comparing 15 editions of the Bach Sonatas and Partitas. I didn't think I would ever in my life write a 25-page paper (for some of you, that probably isn't all that long) but I guess I had a lot to say.

Earlier in the week and in the weeks previous I was working on a big project for my theory class. It was actually pretty hard. Not as much writing, but a lot more analyzing. My brain has had plenty of exercise this week!

Showered!

A couple of weeks ago, I had a fun bridal shower with these cute girls (plus my sister, who took the picture, and Rebecca who had to leave early).

Let me introduce you to these lovely ladies. Kayla, on the left, I've known since we were six. Our birthdays are 4 days apart. We used to play library and school and spies.

Tamra and I met in the music program at BYU--we were in the same quartet for 2+ years. Made lots of stupid jokes over the years!

Lori (who threw the shower) I met in highschool in Mrs. Potter's English class. She and Michelle (who sent the cute apron I am wearing in the picture) and I bonded over an Oedipus Rex project. Lori and I were roommates several times, and we were Women's Chorus presidents together. Sometimes she and Wes treat us to free meals at the Cannon center!

On the right is Emily, who was in the same mission as I was. We were never companions, but we were often in the same zone and accompanied each other on musical numbers. Emily is in the BYU music program, so she's one of the few sisters I see on a regular basis.

My sister Rebecca has always taken a great deal of interest in me and my life. She has 5 adorable children, and she's just the best sister you could ask for.

And my friend Rebecca I met in my ward, and then was my roommate. She makes delicious treats which she generously shares on holidays and at other times!

Lori's adorable daughter, Lucy, and Kayla.


Good times! So I feel totally spoiled to have such amazing friends--there was someone from pretty much every area and time of my life.

And last week I had 2 bridal showers in the same day, thrown by ladies in my old home ward and my current home ward. 20+ ladies showed up to each one (some whose names I don't even know!) and literally showered me with gifts. It was a really overwhelming thing--I don't know if those of you have been married felt the same way, but it's kind of awkward being given so much when all you're doing is . . . getting married. People are so generous and so kind. I feel like the token thank-you note just isn't enough to express how grateful and overwhelmed I feel. Thank you, everyone, for being amazing and kind people in so many ways!

Humility

One of the greatest struggles I have in life is my pride. I suppose most of us could say that to one degree or another. So how does one obtain that infamous humility? It's a constant struggle I come back to again and again. And I think one of the best answers I've found is this little gem, given to me on my mission by an old lady with lots and lots of books:

“Humility is: Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no troubles. It is never to be fretted or vented, irritable or sore. To wonder at nothing done to me. To feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me or when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in myself, where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be in peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all about is searing trouble.”–Dr. Black

You know, come to think of it I've probably shared that quote before on this blog. But it's been such a long time since I've thought of it, so I feel ok about posting it again. My favorite part is the last sentence. How do you have a blessed home in yourself? I think so often we look, as the quote suggests, for outside praise or outside sources of happiness. When really, we can go inside of ourselves, kneel to our Father in Heaven in prayer, and feel peace amidst any storm, any insecurity, any personal weakness, any sorrow, any hurt, and any feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse. Because real humility leads us to the knowledge that without our Father in Heaven and our Savior, we are nothing. But with them we can be anything. We can be forgiven. We can be loved. We can be happy. Actually, more than that, we can feel forgiven, we can feel loved, and we can feel happy, not just act happy.

If I may, here is another quote that is semi-related (also one which I may have quoted in the past), which is especially needful for me right now:

“We are so absorbed in ourselves–how we look and what we need and whether or not other people like us or think we are attractive or capable–that we have little time and energy to think about and serve others or to seek God’s will instead of our own.”–Wendy Top, Getting Past the Labels, p. 9 (she's my mission president's wife--a remarkable woman!)

Here's to feeling confident about our self-worth and our estimation in God's eyes (not to mention others' eyes, though we may not readily admit it), and to having more energy and emotional strength to serve others more fully. Love to you all!